


Gold’s Fake and Real Love Hurts

by orphan_account



Series: let me hold you [1]
Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Big Red, F/M, Pining, a lil bit of ricky and nini, reposted!!!, ricky and gina centered!!!, sorry bout dat, this is really bad ndjwbnxjwjs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-17 23:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21851086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ricky Bowen realizes a few things.
Relationships: Ricky Bowen/Gina Porter
Series: let me hold you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1574251
Comments: 28
Kudos: 102





	Gold’s Fake and Real Love Hurts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [delightfuls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/delightfuls/gifts).



> so like...okay. apparently my work made it to twitter and people made fun of it, so cool!! so i deleted it because i was embarrassed and maybe the people on twitter were right, it was bad. but you know what, SCREW that, so im posting it again, nothing is changed, because I’m still very much proud of it. is it literally tumblr circa 2014 angst, YES, but thats what i like to write. so here it is, back up on ao3, because it’s my story and i like it.

Ricky and Gina weren’t friends to begin with. 

Let alone best friends. 

Then Homecoming happened. Ricky threw an insult and felt regret only moments after Big Red called him out on it. Then his apology led him to be kissed on the cheek by an uncharacteristically soft Gina. And suddenly they’re friends. Maybe even best friends. They text. They hang out. They have inside jokes. Ricky sings for her, Gina listens and smiles. They talk a lot, they understand each other. Gina finally feels happy for once. Ricky broke through her stone cold exterior and he had earned her trust. 

Until he finds out that Gina lied to him. And shit hits the fan real quick. 

“You took Nini’s phone?” Ricky’s stomach churns and he feels like he’s gonna throw up. His mind is racing and he can see Gina start to shake. “I’m so sorry.” Gina’s crying, he realizes, but he doesn’t care. She lied to him. After everything, she lied to him. 

“I did it because-”

“Because what?” Ricky feels the anger in him bubble over and spill out. He wants to punch something. He wants to tear his hair out. He wants to throw his backpack at the mirror wall and watch the glass shatter to the ground. 

“I didn’t know you that well when I did it okay. I didn’t know we were gonna be best friends-” Gina has to suck in a breath from the way Ricky whips his head to look at her, his eyes blazing red. 

“Best friends?” Ricky’s filter is gone. “Best friends don’t lie to each other. Best friends don’t take advantage of each other. We are not best friends.” Ricky is too mad to care about how his words are stinging her. He sees it, he sees her heart breaking and he can’t breathe. 

“Ricky, please-” 

“Just leave me alone.” 

He walks out of the room and doesn’t look back. He can’t. He throws up in the nearest bathroom, he feels like he’s in a really dramatic movie. He texts Big Red about what happened and he offers to skip the rest of the day to go home and eat some ice cream. 

_ Ricky agrees.  _

* * *

They don’t talk anymore. Ricky convinces himself he’s okay with it. He shouldn’t be missing the girl who betrayed him and his trust. Who betrayed his  ex- , well, his girlfriend. 

Ricky and Nini started talking again. After the whole EJ and Gina drama, Nini had actually reached out to him. He was excited, after days of only feeling angry, Ricky had finally begun to feel happy. He stopped thinking about Gina and how she looked at him during rehearsals with her big brown pouty eyes. How he had to think of completely different routes to get to class just to avoid seeing her. 

Which was fine, it gave him more time to spend with Nini during the school day, walking her to class even if that meant he would be late. He was happy again, everything felt normal. Nini was happy, the girl who he fell in love with in the first place. 

* * *

They’ve been back together for a month and a half when there’s a new kid in school. Sam, a tall and goofy, lanky blonde boy with blue eyes. Smart and athletic, even gets a spot on the school’s basketball team. 

He laughs when he hears the news and can’t help but think  _ ‘what a cliché.’  _

He doesn’t really pay much mind to him, not surprised at the amount of girls at East High who had developed a crush on him. Nini, thankfully, hadn’t paid Sam much mind either, so Ricky was okay with the kid. 

Until one day at lunch, sitting with Nini, Kourtney and Big Red, he sees Sam sit down with someone a couple tables down. He sits with Gina, her curly hair in a bun and a bright smile plastered on her face. Ricky’s usual smile is replaced with a scowl. On certain days, he had been forced to see her at rehearsals and sometimes he’d catch her dancing when he passed the dance room, but other than that, he had barely seen her. 

So when she laughs loudly at the new kids joke he can’t help but roll his eyes. He doesn’t miss the way Sam leans in closer, an obvious blush blossoming on Gina’s face. He excuses himself from the table and speed walks to the bathroom. 

He’s confused. Like,  _ really _ confused. 

**_Why_ ** did he hate the way Gina laughed at the joke Sam told.  **_Why_ ** did a cold feeling wash over him when Sam leaned into Gina’s personal space. Ricky stared at himself in the mirror, gripping the sides of the sink. He's baffled by the way he feels. He tries to be normal when he returns to lunch, avoiding the skeptical way Nini looks at him. Throughout lunch he pretends to hear one of Big Red’s stories, when really he continues to steal glances at the girl who sits only a couple tables away. 

How she laughs, how she places her hand on Sam’s arm, how she looks in his direction only once, merely by accident. How her eyes go wide before she turns her head quickly, sparking up a conversation with the boy who sits next to her. 

_ Ricky feels weird.  _

* * *

It’s only when Sam and Gina walk into rehearsals one day, hand in hand, does Ricky realize the name of the emotion he’s feeling. 

**Jealousy.**

In its rawest form. Which wasn't good, considering he had a whole girlfiriend who he is beyond happy with. Yet, he still didn't like how Gina was smiling, elated, as she introduced Sam to everyone in the room. Nini had been talking to Carlos when Gina hesitantly approached them. Nini said hello first, Ricky’s heart pounding as Gina looked at Carlos and Nini, avoiding his eyes. Sam reached his hand out, Nini shaking it out of the kindness in her heart, Carlos following soon after. 

“And this is um, Ricky.” Gina’s voice makes Ricky swallow hard. Sam holds his hand out with a big smile, his white teeth almost blinding him. He can sense the awkward tension growing as everyone waits for him to shake the new guy’s hand. He doesn’t. “Um...okay.” Sam retracts his hand, pushing it deep into his pocket as his other hand rests comfortably in Gina’s. Ricky doesn’t know why he doesn’t shake his hand, or why he excuses himself again, softly brushing passed Gina, taking in a whiff of her perfume. 

Ricky’s in the bathroom again. He hates himself for what he just did. He knows when he walks back into the room they’ll ask him what’s up. So he says he was feeling sick and apologizes to Sam, who doesn’t take it to heart and forgives him. 

_ ‘Of course you’re a good guy.’ _ Ricky thinks as he sits down next to Nini, who’s too busy reading the lines of the new show they’re working on to realize that he keeps glancing at Gina and Sam. How Sam refuses to let go of her hand, how Gina is probably okay with it. 

_ Ricky wants to scream.  _

* * *

Rehearsals for their new show have gone smoothly, he and Nini got two major parts again, while Gina and Sam got the part of the ‘lovely couple’. Ricky wants to gag every time Sam has to kiss Gina for the show. Halfway through production, Nini and Ricky break up. It was a mutual break-up, a lack of feelings evident between the two, seeing as they decided it was best to just end it. They were still friends, but Ricky could no longer say his girlfriend was Nini Salazar-Roberts. 

Gina and Sam had still been going strong, the rehearsals solidifying their relationship more. For their three month anniversary Sam gets the whole crew to set up a romantic gesture for Gina and their anniversary. Ricky’s assigned to hand Gina a rose alongside two other people to signify the time she and Sam had been together. 

_ It makes Ricky sick.  _

* * *

On the day of the anniversary gift, Ricky feels nervous. He’s simply handing Gina a rose, that’s it. But he’s barely interacted with her in the last three months. It happens before rehearsals starts, the rose in his hand looks too perfect. He thinks  _ 'this entire thing is too perfect.' _ Then he sees her, her hair is straightened this time, like it was during Homecoming. She’s blushing, hard, one rose already in her hand. He was next. 

She sees him and he notices her mouth open slightly, her eyes growing a little wider. His heart stops for a second and begins hurting really bad. She looks beautiful. She’s simply wearing a flowy black dress but she looks absolutely beautiful. She doesn’t look at him when she takes the rose from his hand, probably doesn’t pay attention to how their fingertips touch for a split second. But Ricky does.

And his fingers  **burn.**

She moves on to the next rose and Ricky stares at her as she does. Sam's waiting at the corner with a corny sign and a bouquet of roses in his hand, smiling as Gina speeds up her pace to plant a big one on him. Ricky feels pain all over. He watches as people clap, Carlos and Seb gushing over how romantic it is. Nini was recording the whole thing, throwing a thumbs up at Sam who threw one back. Gina looked happy. 

_ Ricky wants to cry.  _

* * *

It’s a couple months later, winter break is about to start soon and Ricky feels depressed. Gina and Sam are still happy, ‘two puppies in love’ Big Red comments one day. Ricky scoffs, earning a confused look from his friend. “What?” Ricky doesn’t know what to say so he just shrugs as closes his locker and walks to his class. They’re not doing much in English that day so he manages to sneak out the class, having really no place to go. He doesn’t even realize where he’s going until he’s standing outside the dance room. He remembered that Gina had a free period when he had English, which when they were friends, Gina would always tease him about it. 

**_“I can’t believe when I’m writing essays you get to just go home. In what world is that fair?” Ricky and Gina were eating grapes he had brought from home. “Ha, loser.” Gina giggled as Ricky picked up a grape and threw it at her._ **

**_“Sometimes I don’t go home and just go dance in the dance room. You know, let off some steam.” Ricky hummed, reaching in the plastic baggie to grab more grapes only to realize he had thrown the last one. “Good job.” Gina laughed as Ricky stared at the grape on the floor, smiling when Gina started to playfully insult his intelligence._ **

Ricky smiled fondly at the memory, forgetting that he was standing in front of the dance room door. The door flew open suddenly and startled him. “Oh god-”

“What are you doing here?” Gina stands before him, sweating and breathing hard, a towel over her shoulder. Ricky’s at a loss for words. “I-um, I...hi.” Ricky mentally facepalms himself. Months after not talking and that’s the first thing he comes up with.  _ Nice one Ricky, _ he thinks. 

“Do you need something.” Gina’s response is straight to the point, annoyed and rough. She stares at him like he’s a stranger who’s intruding in her business. He shakes away the fact that he kind of is. 

“Can we talk.” Ricky feels hot under the layers he’s wearing. Her stone cold stare would make anyone run away, but he stands his ground, ready for the door to be slammed in his face. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, or **why** he’s even doing this. He didn’t wake up today and think he’d be talking to Gina for the first time in months. “No, listen I’m busy, you should be in class-”

“I miss you.” Ricky bites his tongue, his fist clenching so hard he thinks they start bleeding. Gina looks at him incredulously before a fiery rage washes over her. 

**_Oh shit._ **

“Go away. I don’t  **ever** want to talk to you.” Before Ricky could say anything more Gina slams the door in his face, the sound reverberating throughout the empty hallway. A second later he hears music blasting from inside the room, watching as Gina begins dancing. He places his hand on the door, wanting so badly to bust in and turn the music off and talk to her. Or **yell** at her. 

He wants to push Gina up against the wall and just yell at her, about how his life has been pure shit for a while because she’s so happy. He wants to scream in her face and punch the mirror next to her head and ask why she’s so happy. He wants to  _ hold _ her after everything though, wants to say sorry and he wants to…

_ Ricky wants to kiss Gina. _

Even after Gina betrayed his trust, even after she never apologized, even after she found someone else to be happy with, a boyfriend for Christ Sakes, even after she continuously broke his heart without even realizing it. 

_ Ricky Bowen wants to kiss Gina Porter.  _

**_Hard._ **

Wants her to feel his pain, his anger, his sadness. Wants her to feel what he feels. 

_ He wants her.  _

But she hates him. 

_ And he hates this.  _

So he walks away, angrily shoving his hands in his pockets as her music fades from his ears. He walks back into his classroom undetected and wallows in his seat, blasting the saddest playlist he could find and forcing himself not to cry. 

**He hates this.**

* * *

The next time Ricky sees Gina she looks upset. It’s at lunch, with Big Red, when he sees Gina sitting all alone, no Sam in sight. And he hates how quickly he gets excited at the thought of them being broken up. But soon after he realizes he hates the way Gina looks like she’s about to cry. It makes his heart hurt how much she looks like a kicked puppy. He hears Big Red sigh from beside him. 

“Can you go talk to her, you’re sadness is rubbing off on me and I’m not even the one in love with her.” Ricky chokes on his water, the liquid going down the wrong pipe. His stuttering doesn’t help but support Big Red’s observation. 

“Wh-I’m not, I’m not in love with her, why would you say that.” Ricky is flustered as Big Red takes the brownie from his tray and begins to eat it. “Ever since you and Nini broke up you’ve been really depressed. At first I thought it was Nini, because you know that’s expected, but then, Sam orchestrated that whole thing for Gina and I saw how you got. I don’t even know how to explain it, you just looked off about the whole thing. And don’t think I didn’t catch you staring at her from here and there.” 

Ricky stared at Big Red with a shocked expression. He knew pretty much everything, things that Ricky hadn’t even admitted to himself. He looked back at Gina, the girl who looked sadder with every second that passed. “Go man, I can’t look at you like this, it’s kinda sad.” Big Red took a sip of his chocolate milk as he patted Ricky on the back. He looked at his friend and nodded, standing up, ignoring how his legs felt like jelly. 

He walked up to her, hands wringing in a nervous way as Gina slowly picked away at the food on her tray.  _ “Are you okay?” _ Ricky walks up to Gina who abruptly looks up, surprised to find him standing there. The surprised look quickly turns into a scowl as she stands up and walks away, leaving her tray full of food on the table and a displeased Ricky behind. He follows her, ignoring how her pace got quicker. He wasn’t gonna let her shut him. 

_ Not anymore.  _

“Gina stop.” He grabbed her by the bicep, pulling her towards him which earned him a shove to the chest. “What do you want Ricky, I told you I don’t want to talk to you.” She tried to walk away but Ricky only ran to put himself in front of her, refusing her to let her go. “Too bad, I want to talk.” He’s tired but not tired enough to confront her.

“Ricky-” He didn’t let her finish, pulling her into the nearest empty room and shutting the door behind them. She tried to get out but he guarded the door, his arms crossing over his body, stubborn and firm. “Tell me what’s wrong.” Ricky watched as Gina’s eyes were staring to get watery, her lip quivering. He wants to hold her. 

“Oh I’m sorry are we best friends again?” It stings. Ricky deserves that. 

“Gina-”

“No you know what, you don’t get to know what’s going on with me, we’re not friends, we’re not even acquaintances, you don’t know me okay, you don’t get to know me.” Gina’s fuming, the tears already pouring out of her eyes. Ricky softens, a mistake, because Gina attempts to push him out of the way and leave.

_ Not gonna happen.  _

Gina’s strong, but Ricky is surprisingly stronger. He pushes her to the side of the door, pressing her against the wall, his hands squeezing the side of her arms as her hands find their way to his chest. Gina’s breathing hard, crying, and he can’t tell if it’s his heart beating against his chest or hers. “Please just tell me what’s wrong.” It’s nothing more than a whisper that comes from him and Gina feels like she’s gonna implode. He still hasn’t let go of her, his hands squeezing even tighter as she closes her eyes. 

“I hate you.” Her voice cracks. Ricky’s heart does too. 

“I hate him.” Ricky knows this is about Sam, but he’s too caught up on the fact that she said she hates him. Gina’s eyes are screwed shut as he looks at her. He looks at her lips, the way she bites them, like she wants to feel pain anywhere else than her heart. He drags his hands up to her face, wiping the tears from her cheeks as she lets out a sob. “He doesn’t love me anymore, I don’t know what to  **do** .” 

Ricky wants to kiss her.  _ Badly. _ But not like how he wanted to kiss her the first time, no, this time he wanted to kiss her in the softest way possible.

_ He may not love you but I do. _

He wants to say it, scream it, confess it to the world. 

_ I do.  _

“I’m so sorry.” Ricky finds himself apologizing. This time his eyes close, Gina’s open. “I was mad at you and I said so many things all those months ago that I didn’t mean. And I refused to talk to you out of anger, I’m so sorry.” Ricky feels like he’s going to start crying. Gina watches as he pours his heart out, her heart and mind racing as she places her hands on Ricky’s wrist. “What do you want Ricky.” Her voice is strained, she feels foggy as Ricky takes a deep breath. 

“What do you want?’ Ricky responds back, not moving from his position against her. It feels like an eternity before he’s met with an answer. 

He isn’t prepared for the pair of soft lips to kiss him. Ricky’s eyes widened as Gina pulls back, letting go of his wrists, her eyes wide as can be. He stutters, disoriented, he feels like he’s dreaming. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” Ricky doesn’t let her finish.  _ He kisses her. _ His hands tangling themselves into her hair, her fingers hesitantly scrunch up the front of his shirt. He’s dreamed about this. He’s thought about this.

_ He’s wanted this.  _

He kisses her harder, he wants more, he wants so much more. Screw being soft, his heart feels like it’s exploding, his eyes are closed so tight it starts to hurt. Gina tries to disconnect herself, wants to breathe, but he won’t let her. His left hand removes itself from her hair and he grabs her chin, keeping her in place. He wants to stay like this forever. She gives in, kissing back with as much force. He realizes they both need to breath so he slowly pulls away, pressing his forehead against hers, breathing hard. “I think I might be in l-”

**“Don’t.”** Gina whispers and Ricky pulls her his head away, eyes boring into hers. Her lips are gonna be bruised. He inwardly gleams at the thought. “Ricky we can’t do this.” Gina brushes pass him, her hand pressing against her lips as Ricky palms his own face. “What do you mean?” Ricky reaches out to her but she flinches which makes him retract with hurt evident in his eyes. 

“I just broke up with Sam. I can’t just start stuff with you, I just...I’m sorry, I have to go, this was a mistake.” Gina rushes out of the room leaving a crestfallen Ricky alone in a dark classroom. His hair is mused, his shirt is ruffled and the burning sensation in his stomach won’t go away. His heart just broke for the third time in the span of six months. 

_ Ricky wants to follow her. _

But he doesn’t. Instead he goes to class and is too distracted to pay attention to the lessons. He hates how she just left. How she said it was a mistake. How in love he was with her. 

_ He hates this.  _

**Author's Note:**

> don’t let random strangers on the internet make you feel bad. also i lit rally posted this from my phone so if anything turns out weird...my bad...


End file.
